The Mind of Bethany Farts
Once attended a
Paul Simon concert alone.
  • Just Now

    …I made a PB&J and then promptly dropped it on the floor before taking even one bite. That couldn’t be a more beautiful metaphor for my life right now.

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  • "There is a time in every man’s education
    when he arrives at the conviction that,
    envy is ignorance;
    that, imitation is suicide;
    that, he must take himself
    for better,
    for worse,
    as his portion."
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • How often have you called your parents only to be told they will have to call you back because your dad is coloring your mom’s roots in between salon visits? For me, the answer is twice.

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  • 23/F/Tennessee

    I sat on my bed in my new room in my new apartment in my new home state of Tennessee where I moved one week ago. All the usual shit -notebooks, pens, scraps of paper, and a laptop - piled in front of me while I searched for jobs. Something in the yard of the apartment building caught my eye and I peered through a large double window for a moment.

    My vision focused on a handsome, shirtless young man dashing toward the greenway like a beautiful gazelle. “Uh, am I really seeing this?” I thought. “Surely that’s a bloated dead raccoon and I’m confused.” For a moment, I was convinced I’d gone nuts. But mostly I felt like God was smiling on me. 

    Welcome to Tennessee, He said. You’re not crazy after all.

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  • Great Expectations

    I finished reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens a few days ago, and it only took me THREE YEARS to do so.

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  • "The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you."
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